


Take My Hand (Take My Whole Heart Too)

by meghanisadweeb (orphan_account)



Series: Sunflower [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, So is Philip Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson is A Sappy Bitch, Weddings, so it's okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:17:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/meghanisadweeb
Summary: Philip and Thomas get married.





	Take My Hand (Take My Whole Heart Too)

“So, um, this is- Well, I couldn’t think of any words to write out as vows. I mean, I could, obviously, but… How can I even put how much I love you into words? How can I even describe your smile or your laugh or your hugs? So, I wrote a poem.” Pip looks sheepish as he pulls a folded up piece of notebook paper out of his pocket.

 

“ _I know you're not here_ _  
__but you are in my heart_ _  
__so_ _  
__you are always with me_ _  
__I'll just slip into you_ _  
__with these words._ _  
_ _  
__I know_ _  
__there are mountains_ _  
__dwarf the cities below_ _  
__peaks that stride above the heavens_ _  
__attempt to graze the planets if even so lightly._ _  
__  
__That_ _  
__there is a special star that rises daily_ _  
__against shades of air lit._ _  
__  
__They tell me_ _  
__there is a wide deep void that is grand - a canyon_ _  
__not too far for any adventurer who dares to look down its throat._ _  
__  
__Our world is tightly splattered in miraculous views._ _  
__  
__I remember diving through the horizon_ _  
__where on the other side_ _  
__I found intricate scenes_ _  
__  
__I walked down a dock straight into an orange wine sunset_ _  
__through to steps led to a bridge_ _  
__walked across to an enchanted glitter covered road_ _  
__to a winding path with a floating pink shaded fog_ _  
__until I wandered into an explosion of nature._ _  
__  
__Once,_ _  
__alone,_ _  
__I witnessed a mud escarpment_ _  
__with splashes of burgundy, shades of maroon,_ _  
__tones in burnt copper and chestnut browns._ _  
__I found a rare waterfall_ _  
__rushing down into an inviting pool_ _  
__a crystal clear deep blue lagoon unused_ _  
__around it, emerald spruces gathered in a cluster of trust._ _  
__  
__All in all so alluring I willingly stripped bare and melted into_ _  
__the refreshing fully chilled basin down to its coral bottom._ _  
__I was greeted by an array of tropical aquatic life._ _  
__Nude, free, happy_ _  
__I swam in the simplicity of the moment._ _  
__  
__Another time it was_ _  
__a blinding white wavy desert floor_ _  
__totally stripped for miles,_ _  
__then one_ _  
__just one live growing plant_ _  
__it looked like tall fanned out verdant fingers._ _  
__Remarkable,_ _  
__however_ _  
__what a thin shadow it cast._ _  
__  
__A bright blue scrim provided a contrast_ _  
__framed for a photographer to snap._ _  
__Floats in white,_ _  
__scarce_ _  
__were frozen in place_ _  
__and not a wire was evident,_ _  
__just motionless etchings._ _  
__  
__I sat on the burning sand_ _  
__took a position and meditated._ _  
__My mantra,_ _  
__rebounded off the thickness of the sultry atmosphere_ _  
__I heard my own voice return to fill me._ _  
__I bathed in the simplicity of the moment._ _  
__  
__Yes_ _  
__I love this world_ _  
__All its treasures_ _  
__I swear_ _  
__  
__But you,_ _  
__ah you_ _  
__  
__Not all of nature_ _  
__  
__Not the sun that lights the day_ _  
__sprinkles the skin in its brilliant sheen_ _  
__or the moon that with_ _  
__its romantic smile_ _  
__its alluring suggestions_ _  
__seduces even the least romantic of us._ _  
__  
__Not the miraculous_ _  
__vegetation of every kind_ _  
__or the moss-laden beds where lovers have often laid as one_ _  
__linked to one another - inspired by natures erotic whisper._ _  
__  
__Ah_ _  
__but you,_ _  
__  
__I would sacrifice all else,_ _  
__  
__just to breathe in your love_ _  
__just to bathe in you._ _  
__  
__You, my passionate want._ _  
__  
__Our love is my Mecca._ _  
__  
__When I hold you softly in the strength of my arms._ _  
__Touching your face sends shivers through my consciousness,_ _  
__holding your hand is like plugging into bliss,_ _  
__watching your mouth,_ _  
__the dent above your lips,_ _  
__you know I overdose ecstatic_ _  
__when mine touches yours._ _  
__  
__I want to stay - mine on yours,_ _  
__as we speak, as we dream._ _  
__How I love your smile your laugh._ _  
__  
__I hold you in the enchantment of my mind._ _  
__I caress you in the secret chambers of my dreams._ _  
__I cherish your scent - infinite, singular, invigorating._ _  
__I roll with you in the autumn leaves of my imagination._ _  
__  
__I wish you everything - for you are everything to me._ _  
__  
__I would if I could_ _  
__I would reach beyond my grasp to,_ _  
__  
__to pull Magic from my hat._ _  
__Squeeze a snowball into a skating rink_ _  
__just to dance on the water with you._ _  
__  
__I will love you into our afterlife,_ _  
__no man as fortunate as me._ _  
__  
__They say reach for the stars_ _  
__you may end up with the moon._ _  
__I reached._ _  
__I got you,_ _  
__my universe._ _  
__No man as fortunate as me._ _  
__  
__Let me make every step you take safe, secure, pillowy soft_ _  
__try not to faint from the sheer fragrance of you._  


_Together we are sunset shadows,_ _  
_ _shadows that will never fade._ _  
_ _Imprinted permanently on the iris_   
of the early evening skylight.”

 

Philip pauses to wipe his eyes.  
  
“ _Do you remember back when we just met_ _  
_ _do you remember when it started to sleet_ _  
_ _when we used the bark from trees_ _  
_ _to toboggan down the circled path of the mountain_ _  
_ _  
_ _Dizzy,_ _  
_ _we hit the brakes_ _  
_ _brakes crafted_ _  
_ _from the branches of a spruce_ _  
_ _but friction_ _  
_ _lit them like matches on kerosene_ _  
_ _  
_ _and I really think the smoke-filled_ _  
_ _our lungs_ _  
_ _traveled to our heads_ _  
_ _because_ _  
_ _even before the sleet turned to hail_ _  
_ _we slipped under the lawn_ _  
_ _  
_ _spent hours and hours_ _  
_ _covered in each other's silky embrace_ _  
_ _and I confess I peered at every drop of you_ _  
_ _treated my eyes to your_ _  
_ _unveiled_ _  
_ _natural_ _  
_ _naked_ _  
_ _nothing but you_ _  
_ _splendour_ _  
_ _I held that moment_ _  
_ _fragile as it was_ _  
_ _with the greatest of care_ _  
_ _and hold it still with the same reverence_ _  
_ _  
_ _and I really think nothing should feel_ _  
_ _  
_ _that good_ _  
_ _  
_ _because_ _  
_ _  
_ _it just led us to lock lips_ _  
_ _and you know I could have kissed you_ _  
_ _an eon_ _  
_ _passed through it_ _  
_ _as if it were a fraction of a second_ _  
_ _  
_ _our hearts synced_ _  
_ _and I really think that_ _  
_ _our breathing_ _  
_ _our voices_ _  
_ _melting into the air_ _  
_ _playing like music_ _  
_ _is what drove us mad_ _  
_ _  
_ _and I get very creative_ _  
_ _when I go mad_ _  
_ _the stuff "crazy good" is made of_ _  
_ _  
_ _it must have worked because_ _  
_ _we finally reached the peak of our crescendo_ _  
_ _laid in the sublime of one another_ _  
_ _I must of loss consciousness_ _  
_ _  
_ _because_ _  
_ _  
_ _I still don't remember our rendezvous ending_ _  
_ _  
_ _but it must of_ _  
_ _  
_ _because I immediately_ _  
_ _felt your absence_ _  
_ _  
_ _and I really think that's why_ _  
_ _I wrote you_ _  
_ _  
_ _why I wrote_ _  
_ _  
_ _wanna slip under the lawn_ _  
_ _  
_ _again_ _  
_ _  
_ _and I really think that's why_ _  
_ _we've been_ _  
_ _  
_ _why we've been_ _  
_   
together forever.”

 

Philip looks down at his shoes in an attempt to hide his face, but he’s clearly grinning.

 

“Thomas will now be reading the vows that he’s prepared.” Washington’s smile is nothing short of paternal as he pats Thomas on the shoulder. He takes a shaky breath and starts.

 

“Philip Hamilton. Pip. Pipperoni pizza. Phillips Head screwdriver. Pipsqueak. Whatever variation of your name I use doesn’t matter because it always comes back to the same thing. The same feeling. The same word. _Love_. Love when you hold me in your arms after we've both had a long day. Love when we're sitting down and eating dinner. Love when you're making me sit through cheesy Disney sitcoms. I feel my heart absolutely swell with love when I walk into the living room and find you there, still in your pajamas if you didn't have classes, working on a poem. Or sending a text message or just listening to music and singing along with that beautiful voice of yours.” Thomas can feel the tears coming on, but he’s not going to let them fall. Not yet, at least. He’s saving those at least until he’s done. And he’s not gonna be done for a while. There is three legal pad pages worth of proclamations of love and adorations and he spent so much time on revising and rewording things that he’s not gonna throw away his shot to make his Pip feel like he’s the most loved boy in the whole wide world. He probably completely rewrote the goddamn thing seven times before he decided on one that he thought was good enough. Not that there are any words good enough for his angel, of course. No words to describe how pretty he looks with sunshine outlining him, making him look like he’s glowing. No words for how sweet his singing voice is.

 

“I've made mistakes and done things that I'm not proud of. Sometimes I feel like I do more things wrong than what I do right. But you love me in spite of all of that. You're here today _marrying_  me in spite of all of that. It's been a long road to get to you, but it's been worth every bump and scrape and occasional Dwayne Johnson action movie plot-level sinkhole.” He cracks a small smile, staring deep into those pretty green eyes of Pip’s. He’s so beautiful like this. He’s beautiful always, but the dress fits him just right and with the veil and the glowing smile and all of it. Everything about this is so fucking perfect.

 

“You're beautiful. You're so, so beautiful and handsome and cute all at once. Every time you smile I have to smile back because you light up the room that much. You're sweet and compassionate and you _care_  so much about everything and everyone. Your love is like this laser beam that pierces through every layer of my body right to my heart because you love that intensely and that passionately. I've never loved anyone as fully and completely as I love you. I want to see wrinkles form by your eyes.  I want to be with you until you have to walk with a cane and your hair goes gray.” He knows that, at best, he’s going to see his baby boy be sixty, maybe sixty-five, if he's really lucky. But he’s going to savor every second of every minute of every single day that he has with him in this life. Savor every kiss and cuddle and sweet moment and every word and every memory that they make.

 

“And, sure. There are people that think that our love is immoral, or wrong, or unnatural because we’re the same sex or I’m black and you’re all kinds of mixed-race or because I’m older than you. But I say to Hell with those people, because what I feel in my heart? What I feel when you hold me or kiss me or hold my hand? The swelling that I feel in my heart whenever you go off on one of your little tangents about something nerdy that I don't really understand but I’m thrilled to learn about anyway because anything that deserves your passion must be worthwhile? That’s as pure a love as anything else. I love you, so, so much. I love you when you look dazzling, all done up, like today. I love you when you’ve just gotten out of bed and you’re wearing my sweatpants and t-shirt. I love you when you’re happy and excitable, and I love you when you’re down in the dumps. I love you on our best days, full of kind words and affection, and I love you during our fights. I love you when you’re sick or hurt, or when you’ve never felt better.” He especially loves Pip when he’s naked and begging, or making him beg, but there are children present and he’s not gonna start rambling and raving about Philip’s dick or his mouth or how tight his fucking ass is.

 

“And I want to have children with you. By God, do I want to have children with you. I want to have endless amounts of laundry and hear the pitter-patter of little feet on the kitchen floor and have to wake up at three in the morning because one of the babies is crying or, later, because they had a nightmare. I want to tear my hair out over their teenage years and love our kids with everything I have. I want us to be parents and grandparents and have good days with our children and bad days with them, too, and not want to trade that domesticity for anything in the world.” Cheesy Christmas card pictures? Cheesy Christmas card pictures. With ugly sweaters and Santa hats. God, an army of children, all with freckles and poofy hair and green eyes. Tall like their dad and lean and athletic like their other parent.

 

“I can do my best to put it into words, but there’s nothing in the English language that can quite capture what I feel when I see you or touch you or look into your eyes or any of it. You make me feel every single positive emotion at once. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I hope that you can accept this ring as a token of that love, and of my everlasting, eternal desire to be with you.” They say that diamonds are forever, right? Thomas slides the ring onto Pip’s finger, a couple of tears slipping down his cheeks. He quickly thumbs them away, looking a little embarrassed. It’s not especially manly of him to cry, but this is his wedding day, and he supposes that he should allow himself a little leeway. He’s gazing at his partner, his lover, and the person that he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. It’s one of the few times that he can probably allow himself to be emotional in public without being scrutinized. So, he lets the tears fall, down to his jaw, where he wipes them from his stubble. His stubble- or is it a beard? He’s not quite sure. He probably should have shaved it off, anyway, but he doesn’t look quite right without it. “But no diamond could ever be large enough or be worth enough to signify how much I love you. You’re beyond priceless. You’re absolutely one-of-a-kind, and my love for you is one-of-a-kind. I’m completely convinced that no one has ever loved a person as much as I love you.”

 

“When I’m dead and gone, I’ll still be in love with you. Your name will still be etched on my garbage heart that’s probably going to be the thing that brings an end to this, to us, to our union. But your name will always be there, next to clogged arteries and an irregular beat, deep and permanent. And I’m scared, I’m _so, so_  scared that I’ll mess this up, but I want you to know that I’m always trying and doing my best to make you the happiest person on this Earth. I’ll never not want you to be anything but perfectly happy and safe and I want you to feel loved. I hope that you feel loved.” He makes himself laugh, more of a happy-sad hiccup than anything else. This is everything that he's ever wanted for himself. A perfect spouse that loves him and he loves in return. “Because if you don’t, I’ll probably have to kick my own ass later. And then Eliza will kick my ass. And then John and Alexander will. I just never want you to feel how you felt with a certain person. I want to build something good with you. Well- we already have something good. I want to build something better if that’s even possible.” He presses a soft kiss to Pip’s forehead, even though he’s breaking tradition. There’s nothing traditional about this wedding in the first place, and he doesn’t give a shit, anyway.

 

“Too long didn’t read: I love you. I love you so, so much, and it hurts me sometimes just how much I love you. And I want to be with you forever because you make me the happiest man alive. And we totally need thirty cats. My TLDR probably needs a TLDR, but oh well.” He chuckles softly, grinning down at his partner. “Okay, so bottom line is: I really, really love you. Like, a lot. And I don't know why you love me, but I sure am glad that you do.”

 

“Then, by the power vested in me by the internet, I pronounce you husband and spouse. Kiss the damn kid, Jefferson. I need cake and champagne to get through the rest of this. I am happy for you, Thomas, but you’re being a little sappy for my taste.” Washington rolls his eyes, shutting the bible in his hands. Thomas snorts and leans down so he can press his lips to Philip’s. “Okay, that’s enough. You can consummate your union later, just not on the altar? Please? There are certain things that I don’t need to know about my employees.”

 

“I present to you, Thomas and Philip Jefferson!”

**Author's Note:**

> Come fite me on [my tumblr](https://adreamoftinysideshows.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And drop prompts if you want!


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